i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
