six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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