Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
