ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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