I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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