i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
