I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
