At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I understand Curling. That high.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
