Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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