"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
