he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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