she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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