hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
