There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
