My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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