if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
