the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
