At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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