i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I intend to get homeless drunk
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
