very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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