Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
