I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
