I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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