I like my sex mixed with concussions.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
