my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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