just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
