sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My vagina is very pro this idea
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
