Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
