So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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