so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
