You're completely useless in the revolution.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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