It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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