Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
