This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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