remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
