How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
