my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
