oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
