My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
