dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
