Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
