Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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