It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
