She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
