So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There r osticjed everywhere
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
