Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
