guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
