the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
