a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
