Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
