I have demons in me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
