The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
