Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
