I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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